Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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