Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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