stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
