I faked an abortion last night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize