He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
