I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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