So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize