You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
