she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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