We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
