yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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