i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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