All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
