Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
