69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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