just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
