My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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