I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
