The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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