That's intense
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
