I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
