her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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