that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
