i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
