bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
