You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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