Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
