I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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