Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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