I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
