Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
