Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
