Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
