Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
