thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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