Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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