at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
