She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
