Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
