I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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