i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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