three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
