She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
