I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
