you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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