you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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