i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
