No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to make out with him forever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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