Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
