So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
