NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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