apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize