There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
