R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
