Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
