Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
smell my finger.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
