you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The feeling are messing with the penis
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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