Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
