i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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