I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
