Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Randomize
