I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
