Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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