you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
