On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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