You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize