Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
