these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
