I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
