Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
